My O Level English Oral Examination was simply horrendous. I came in unprepared. Fuck, I spent 10 minutes thinking over some other matters til I couldn't focus on the passage and the picture. Moreover, theres a teacher in front of me. You know how I'll get distracted when theres someone facing/in front of me. heh. Oh yeah, I nearly stumbled onto a couple of desks. (The hall was filled with them because of the ongoing Prelim exams) So being the clumsy fool that I am, unintentionally for once (from trying to act cute), I didn't know my foot caught one of the legs of the chairs. I did a dramatic spin and swiftly caught hold of a desk adjacent to where I was. *BANG* nah I didn't fall. Fortunately, but hey, I did feel embarrased. Some blokes were laughing at me. Oh yeah, the thought of that made me chuckle a bit at the 'waiting chair'. When it was my turn, my reading quite sucked. no it sucked. I was whining during the Conversation section. AND MY PICTURE DESCRIPTION WAS GOD AWFULLY HORRIBLE. WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME?

Thats the reason why, I didn't go to school today. With a few more reasons.

- theres jamming today.
- haven't completed my dnt folio. (so I run away like the coward I am)
- I have to deal with months of stress still stucked on the roof of my brain
- the thought of going emo (read below)

Man, I've just saw the girl of my dreams... from in my dreams. Short haired, slim, quite tall, a little chubby, fair and cute. (twas a fookin' hint) teehee. There was a connection between us. No it wasnt lust.. finally for once. Maybe I am making a connection with someone whom I know of who died, or someone from my previous life or bla bla. She looks familiar though but now, in the conscious world, I can't even make out the faintest traces of how she looked. (EXCEPT I remembered her smile) FUCKING CUTE YOU KNOWWWWWWW. Man, she was heavenly. You know, sometimes when I get dreams like this.. it just makes me wanna kill myself.. to unite with my subconscious, away from the dread and the burden (of my family, name, myself, friends, national men) wtf am i talking about? of THIS LIFE. I think you catch my drift. And whenever I get dreams like that, it just makes me wish to see her again in my next sleep. Ignorant, my mind's eye is.

Thy rose,
For thee.

zK taped a piece at 8/24/2004 08:47:00 AM

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